The Last Cycle 

I know I was born and I know I must die but the in-between is mine, I am mine. My life is mine, and I know I’m alive, in every second of every day.

I run faster and faster in the shining sun as she beats down upon me and absorbs me in her brilliance.

I jump higher and higher and climb for the sky as my heart and mind race and I fly high.

Ecstasy and Euphoria consume me in the blinding of my mind and I care not for the world and its weary ways.

Unreality and deception of thought play games with me and I crave their ways to escape the burdens of the world.

Shapes, visions, sounds and chatter crawl their way into my mind and desecrate the harsh realities of the world and I love the antipathy of it all.

My inner soul leaps and clutches at the bounding energy that surrounds my existence, the energy that explodes and crystallises in a million diamonds to fall upon me and burn my eyes in radiant heat.

Outwards I see the white horses upon the surf of wide open moon bound seas, of eagles that fly high above the wide expanse of forest, of ice and snow on vast mountains, of deserts dry and bare, of arctic tundra, of blue ice waterfalls, and of a mind, that is mine, that has no limitations and all is within my grasp.

I search out the love, passion and sensuality that I have known but was lost. I recapture it in my heart with intensity undreamt of. The lost come back to me and caress me in their minds. Their words play on every flutter of my heart.

Suddenly I’m trapped in a cage of glass. I reach high to touch the energy of the blinding light above but exhaustion overwhelms me. I grasp and grasp at it but fall to the bottom of the cage.

Beyond the glass I see the butterfly, silken blue winds flap in a vacuum of space and it glides ever slowly around and around my cage until it freezes in a moment of space and time, time stops.

Crack ! a crack in the glass spreads its spidery way across my cage. Another crack ! and another, crack, crack, crack, spider webs everywhere.

Collapse and disintegration as crystals lie all around me reflecting in the blinding light. Again I grasp for the light but tiredness and fatigue overwhelm me once more. Light dims and recedes and I scream at it for its return.

Light and cage are gone and darkness surrounds me. Crystals crunch under my feet as I feel the wetness of blood ooze from the pores of my feet. Sadness and regret hang upon me like a blanket of iron. I cry tears of blood and taste their flavour like a vampire lain within its cold, dark, tomb.

Suddenly the floor is gone, I am falling, down, down and down, spinning wildly, arms and legs flailing. Around and around, down, down and down, darkness and space with no end.  No moon, no stars, no light, no air, I cannot breath. Like a train hitting the buffers I impact a surface I cannot see or comprehend.

I awake momentarily and lay in my bed as the cruel world grinds slowly on. All I want is endless sleep. Life and all its aspects are of no interest to me now. All is still, all is quiet, my mind empty and devoid of thought. Is this oblivion ? Is this death ?

The intrusion of others wakes me from my slumber. They try to take me away from my pain but don’t feel my loneliness, a loneliness of the grave where the living cannot tread.

Death, you are my sweet love, come and give me your cold embrace. Wrap your icy arms around me, hold me, kiss me till I die. Let me feel your cold touch, feel you, feel death of my flesh. Release my soul from this agony, give me freedom, let me die.